As a growing child, I had no one but my younger brother to play with. And did we play? We formulated our own short plays and songs and acted them out on our balcony in our house in Warri, Delta State, Nigeria. As we grew older we had friends and almost forgot the bonding and kindness we shared; until an incident made us not only remember it, but lived each day showing kindness not only to ourselves but to everyone we came across. In today’s world, cleverness is celebrated above almost everything else. We praise the child who can outsmart their siblings. We admire the student who finds shortcuts to success. We applaud the person who can manipulate situations to their advantage. But what if we have been measuring the wrong things all along?
The Trickster’s Dilemma
Meet Anancy the spider in this vibrantly illustrated retelling of a traditional West African folktale by Fiona French. Anancy and Mr. Dry Bone is perfect for children ages 5 to 9 and it tackles a question that goes to the heart of character development. What happens when cleverness meets its match?In this story Anancy sets out on yet another clever scheme. This time he wants to win the beautiful daughter of Mr. Dry Bone, a rich but rather unpleasant skeleton like man. Anancy being true to his trickster nature decides to use wit and manipulation to get what he wants. After all, this approach has worked for him before.But here is where the story gets interesting. Things do not go as smoothly as Anancy planned. Through a series of events that unfold with both humor and wisdom readers are left to reflect on a profound question. What truly matters most? Is it character or cunning?
Why Children Need This Story
The colors in this book leap off the page and Anancy’s mischievous antics will leave young readers giggling. But beyond the laughs lies something much deeper. This story teaches a powerful lesson that our children desperately need to hear. Tender heartedness, kindness and respect for others outshine even the cleverest tricks.This message feels revolutionary in our current cultural moment. We are raising children in an environment that often rewards manipulation over sincerity. They see adults getting ahead by being cunning, crafty or plain wickedness rather than having good character traits. They watch social media influencers gain followers through carefully crafted personas rather than authentic relationships. Anancy and Mr. Dry Bone offers a different path forward. It shows children that while being clever might seem fun in the short term, being loving, kind and respectful is what truly makes someone worthy of admiration and genuine connection.The Deeper Lesson About Manipulation. What makes this folktale particularly powerful is how it exposes the emptiness of relationships built on deception. Anancy’s schemes might be entertaining but they cannot create the kind of deep meaningful connections that every person truly desires.When we teach children to rely on cleverness and manipulation to get what they want we are actually setting them up for loneliness. People may be impressed by their wit but they will struggle to trust their sincerity. Others may be entertained by their schemes but they will question whether they are valued for who they are or just for what they can provide.The story gently nudges children toward valuing empathy over manipulation. It shows them that authentic relationships require vulnerability, honesty and genuine care for others. These qualities cannot be faked or achieved through clever tricks. They must be cultivated through consistent acts of kindness and respect.
Questions That Matter
Ask your child or children if they would you rather be the smartest person in the room or the kindest? Then let the conversation flow from there.You might be surprised by their initial answer. Many children have been conditioned to believe that being the smartest is always better. But as you explore this question together you can help them discover the limitations of intelligence without compassion.Talk about times when they have encountered really smart people who were not very kind. Discuss how those interactions felt. Then contrast that with memories of people who might not have been the most brilliant but who made them feel valued and cared for. Help them understand that intelligence is a gift but kindness is a choice. Intelligence can solve problems but kindness creates connection. Intelligence can impress people but kindness transforms hearts. Folktales wisdom
Folktales like this one carry the accumulated wisdom of generations. They have survived because they address universal human experiences and offer insights that remain relevant across cultures and centuries. The Anancy stories in particular have traveled from West Africa throughout the Caribbean and beyond because they speak to something fundamental about human nature. These stories understand that every person struggles with the temptation to use their abilities for selfish gain rather than for the good of their community. They recognize that cleverness without compassion can become destructive. They offer alternative models of what it means to be truly successful in life.When we share these traditional stories with our children we are connecting them to this deep wellspring of human wisdom. We are showing them that the questions they face about character and integrity are not new. People have been wrestling with these challenges for thousands of years and the stories that have survived offer guidance that we can trust.
Building Character
The lesson from Anancy and Mr. Dry Bone extends far beyond the pages of the book. It invites us to examine how we are shaping our children’s understanding of success and worth in our daily interactions with them.Do we praise them more for being clever or for being kind? Do we celebrate their ability to get what they want or their willingness to consider what others need? Do we reward them for winning or for playing fairly?These small daily choices add up to create a child’s understanding of what matters most in life. If we want to raise children who value kindness over cleverness we need to model and reward those qualities consistently.This does not mean that intelligence and creativity are unimportant. It means that these gifts are most valuable when they are used in service of love and justice rather than selfish ambition. Anancy and Mr. Dry Bone reminds us that the most important question is not whether our children can outsmart others but whether they can love well. In a world that often rewards the wrong things this folktale offers a different vision of what it means to truly win in life.
